i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
