My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
