HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
