Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
