She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
