Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
