haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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