i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
