the condom got lost in my hair
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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