i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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