just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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