Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you will always have a special place in my vag
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
