I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
