Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm just crazy horny about you
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
