I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
