Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
