you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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