So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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