Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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