sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
