I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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