i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
