Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
