She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
