my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
