the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
