I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
