I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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