She just used a chaser for red wine.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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