I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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