I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
