You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
