Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I need to stop coming to work sober
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
