Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
