You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
