i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
