I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
