No awkward lesbian experiences without me
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
