Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
