Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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