NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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