OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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