Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
