Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
