I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
