dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You are the jesus of drinking
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
