So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize