I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
