Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
