Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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