well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
