Me. At least after what I've been through.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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