Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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